The Used share a house while working on their new album.
Dear Quinn,
I know it was you. Uh huh. You think I don't know, but I do, and it WAS YOU. I know you didn't work alone, (gross) I know Bert helped you (even grosser), but Dan's giving him his comeuppance.
So, I want to know. Why would you do that?! Have Dan and I not been good friends? Did we not support you guys when you came out? Have we not tolerated you two when you were in the first anti-social flush of love and kept sneaking away every twenty minutes to go have sex somewhere undoubtedly illegal? Well? So, why would you do that?
Do you have any idea how grossed out Dan was when he accidently sat on that suspect white mark on OUR sofa? Well? He was more grossed out than that time when he accidently bought an Alanis Morrisette album. He was more grossed out than that time when he met Robert Pattinson.
And that's saying a lot. So, I demand you get our sofa PROFESSIONALLY cleaned.
And I also demand you stop fucking on mine and Dan's furniture.
(not much) love,
Jepha.
Jaffa,
I find it fascinating how you seem to talk about Dan more than anything else in that letter. Could it be that Bert and I aren't the only couple in the band? Hmm? Besides, that white mark wasn't mine. Nor Bert's because we've never fucked on your couch. Your shower, bed and coat closet sure, but never your couch. It's too velvety for comfort. Is that why Dan gave me that Alanis Morrisette for Valentine's Day one year? Thank God, I knew he had better taste than that.
And yes, jeez, you guys did support Bert and me plenty, and thank you for that. Now build a bridge and either get over it, or jump off it, I don't really care.
Nah, I do care. If you died, Dan would be pretty cut up and I don't want to have to have to comfort him.
So, don't die. And if you do, don't do it on movie night.
Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and (you get the picture) of love.
Quinnifer.
Xxxxxxx
Quinn,
Stop calling me Jaffa. Seriously.
And noooooo, Dan and I are friends, not all of us fuck our best friends. And MY BED!?!
I sleep in that thing, you bitch! I sleep naked in that-ugh, gross. You are, obviously, never allowed in my home again.
Wait....Then who's cum is it!? And why is it on our couch? I'm going to go ask Dan if he knows....
Love (even though you're an idiot),
Jeph.
Jepha,
You sleep naked?
Love Dan.
Xox
Quinn,
Then who's come is it?!
Love Dan(rules).
Jaffa,
See, I told you he likes you. He gave you kisses and I got none. See?
I must agree with Dan, you sleep naked? What about on tour?
Try Gerard and Frank. Maybe it was them.
Love Quinnifer.
Xoxoxo
Quinn,
Well, yeah I sleep naked on tour. I got used to it at home and now I just can't sleep with clothes on, it gets too hot. Alright, I'll ask Gerard about the cum.
Love Jepha. (JEPHA NOT JAFFA)
Jaffa,
OVERSHARE.
Love Quinny.
Xoxo
Quinn,
LET THE MAN TALK.
Love Dan.
Quinny, Jaffa and Danrules.
Stop leaving these notes on the fridge, Quinn's mom visited today and asked me what 'cum' was.
Love
Bert.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I know it was you. Uh huh. You think I don't know, but I do, and it WAS YOU. I know you didn't work alone, (gross) I know Bert helped you (even grosser), but Dan's giving him his comeuppance.
So, I want to know. Why would you do that?! Have Dan and I not been good friends? Did we not support you guys when you came out? Have we not tolerated you two when you were in the first anti-social flush of love and kept sneaking away every twenty minutes to go have sex somewhere undoubtedly illegal? Well? So, why would you do that?
Do you have any idea how grossed out Dan was when he accidently sat on that suspect white mark on OUR sofa? Well? He was more grossed out than that time when he accidently bought an Alanis Morrisette album. He was more grossed out than that time when he met Robert Pattinson.
And that's saying a lot. So, I demand you get our sofa PROFESSIONALLY cleaned.
And I also demand you stop fucking on mine and Dan's furniture.
(not much) love,
Jepha.
Jaffa,
I find it fascinating how you seem to talk about Dan more than anything else in that letter. Could it be that Bert and I aren't the only couple in the band? Hmm? Besides, that white mark wasn't mine. Nor Bert's because we've never fucked on your couch. Your shower, bed and coat closet sure, but never your couch. It's too velvety for comfort. Is that why Dan gave me that Alanis Morrisette for Valentine's Day one year? Thank God, I knew he had better taste than that.
And yes, jeez, you guys did support Bert and me plenty, and thank you for that. Now build a bridge and either get over it, or jump off it, I don't really care.
Nah, I do care. If you died, Dan would be pretty cut up and I don't want to have to have to comfort him.
So, don't die. And if you do, don't do it on movie night.
Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and (you get the picture) of love.
Quinnifer.
Xxxxxxx
Quinn,
Stop calling me Jaffa. Seriously.
And noooooo, Dan and I are friends, not all of us fuck our best friends. And MY BED!?!
I sleep in that thing, you bitch! I sleep naked in that-ugh, gross. You are, obviously, never allowed in my home again.
Wait....Then who's cum is it!? And why is it on our couch? I'm going to go ask Dan if he knows....
Love (even though you're an idiot),
Jeph.
Jepha,
You sleep naked?
Love Dan.
Xox
Quinn,
Then who's come is it?!
Love Dan(rules).
Jaffa,
See, I told you he likes you. He gave you kisses and I got none. See?
I must agree with Dan, you sleep naked? What about on tour?
Try Gerard and Frank. Maybe it was them.
Love Quinnifer.
Xoxoxo
Quinn,
Well, yeah I sleep naked on tour. I got used to it at home and now I just can't sleep with clothes on, it gets too hot. Alright, I'll ask Gerard about the cum.
Love Jepha. (JEPHA NOT JAFFA)
Jaffa,
OVERSHARE.
Love Quinny.
Xoxo
Quinn,
LET THE MAN TALK.
Love Dan.
Quinny, Jaffa and Danrules.
Stop leaving these notes on the fridge, Quinn's mom visited today and asked me what 'cum' was.
Love
Bert.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
