"Ready for the Halloween party?" Bert asked chirpily, stabbing Gerard with the tip of a finger as he stacked boxes of cereal. "Uh, no? Dude...It's April." Gerard replied sleepily rubbing his eyes with one hand (which caused the stack of boxes to tilt to the left alarmingly, so Gerard decided he was done and disappeared round the corner).
Hurrying after him, Bert called (while cursing his shorter legs) "I know but Jeph wanted us to have one before everyone else-"

"Oh, that's why your mom wouldn't let me go in your bedroom yesterday? 'Cause Jepharee was there?" Gerard asked irritably, pausing in front of the chilled goods, while casting a surreptitious eye at the keeling boxes. "Well, I maybe asked her if she could leave us alone while we talked, I didn't know she wasn't gonna let anybody else in. She thought she was helping." Bert added, defensive of his mom. "Yeah, well I wanted to talk to you but I didn't realize Jeph was more important than me." Gerard said bitterly.
"I never said he was! Fuck, what's your problem! I wanted to talk to him in private!" Bert snapped aggressively.
"In private, of course. 'Cept you didn't try to just 'talk' to him, didja? You tried to fuck him and he wouldn't let you!" Gerard hissed.
Bert gasped and shouted. "What the fuck is wrong with you? What difference does it make to you if I do like him?!"
Gerard ignored him and sneered in his direction, avoiding eye contact. "You tried to fuck him, didn't you? And he didn't want to, for once no one wants you Bert! Quinn doesn't, Mikey doesn't, and guess what, Jeph doesn't either. And he never will."
Bert opened and closed his mouth in shock. "I....that's not..." He inhaled shakily. It was one thing thinking these things in your own head, quite another when they were shouted at you by your best friend.
"....That's not fair Gerard." Bert finished unevenly.
"Fair? Nothing is fair Bert, but this. This is fair, finally for once you don't have anyone running after you to get in your pants. Now you know!"
"Know what?! What are you fucking on about?" Bert screamed.
"Now you know what's it like to be me!" Gerard shouted, and turned on his heel, stamping into the stock room, leaving Bert behind, gaping in confusion.
The boxes around the corner fell over with a deafening thump.



"-Just doesn't understand how it feels." Gerard sniffed, curled up on a crate of toilet paper.
"How what feels?" Frank asked, itching to brush Gerard's long hair back from his face. He contented himself with sitting on his hands at the edge of the crate, facing Gerard.
"What it's like being his friend. Everybody goes to him, and just ignores me. How irritating is that? They all see him as the fun, crazy, sexy one and they see me like this cold, stuck up little bitch and once people see that, the more I start to act like it, you know? It's like, that's what they expect, so I can't help but act that way. And then he gets a choice, he can have anyone! He can have Quinn, it's only a matter of time before he falls for Bert. He could have Jeph...I bet the only reason they didn't fuck last night was because Jeph's with Dan. The second Jeph dumps Dan, he'll be all for Bert, you'll see."
"Do you like Jeph or something?" Frank asked bluntly.
Gerard shook his head. "No, I'm just...so sick of everyone wanting Bert. I hate how I look next to him."

Frank's brows narrowed in confusion. "Whadda you mean, 'how you look next to him'?"
Gerard shifted, uncomfortably blushing in the dim light. "You know...all ugly and pointy and..." He whispered the next word like it was a curse. "...Fat."
Frank's nose crinkled up suddenly and he sniggered loudly. Gerard looked injured, and Frank was quick to explain himself. He eased closer so he was sitting directly in front of Gerard and timidly pressed his fingertip to a small, glossy tear on Gerard's cheek. "You're not even fat, you doofus. And seriously? You think you look ugly next to Bert? I mean....come on, Gee, you know how much hotter you are than him. He's hot and all but you're like..." Frank stared at the ceiling, appearing as if he wished the word he needed would write itself on the concrete roof.  "...Beautiful." Frank went a rather deep red, but not as pronounced as Gerard's colour. "...And stuff." Frank added hurriedly, as if those words would make less obvious what he was saying.

Gerard sniffed once more, and Frank sat on his hands again to keep them from betraying him and doing something outrageous.  "Um...thanks." Gerard said quietly to his knees and Frank nodded at the crate beneath them. "Ok." He whispered, and they both blushed for a second time.
"Well, I should...go or something." Gerard said uncomfortably. Frank nodded briskly at his sneakers. "Yeah, me too. I came in here for a box of CDs about an hour ago."




"Then he starts screaming at me about not being fair or something and s-saying I-...Uh." Bert slowed his mindless rant, and flicked his eyes up to Jeph nervously, hoping he wouldn't push it.
Unfortunately, Jeph wasn't born to make people's lives easier. "Go on." He said, nodding encouragingly.
Bert chewed on his inside cheek anxiously. "Nuffin'" He said, sounding muffled because of his habit of biting.
Jeph's eyes narrowed at him in confusion. "What?"
"I-he-he....kinda thought I was gonna try...sleep withyoulastnight." Bert said in a rush, the last few words jamming together.
Jeph considered this calmly. "Would you have?"

"W-what?"

Jeph repeated himself slowly, in a very relaxed manner. "Would you have tried to sleep with me last night? And, dude, 'sleep with me'? You don't 'sleep' with people, you 'fuck' people."
Bert flinched slightly. "Y-yeah, I know. Anyway, I....no, of course I wouldn't have tried anything." Bert went red and tried to talk while chewing his mouth. "-I mean, yew're mah fwend, I woudn't....an' Dan is your....something , so."
"Boyfriend." Jeph agreed, nodding amicably, and oblivious to the shattering sound coming from Bert's chest.
"Yeah. Exactly. So I couldn't even if I-...I couldn't." Bert said tightly, and stood. "I have to go." He allowed his lips to say before forcing his feet in the opposite direction.

_______________________________________________________________


The first thing to alert Gerard to the fact that he wasn't alone in the bathroom was the shadow shifting underneath a stall door. The second was the sound of sniffling. Gerard strained his ears and recognised the sound..."Bert?"
"Go away." The stall rasped. Gerard gingerly stepped closer, hyperaware of all the things he had said earlier. Surely none of them were bad enough to make Bert cry?
"-no one wants you Bert! Quinn doesn't, Mikey doesn't, and guess what, Jeph doesn't either. And he never will."
Gerard winced and pressed his hand to the stall door, he leaned against and said quietly. "Bert? I'm ....sorry I said those-" The door suddenly opened and Gerard found himself falling into the stall, the door closing behind him and a teary Bert snuggling into his chest. "It's ok." He hiccupped. "You were right anyway."

"I...what? Bert?" Gerard timidly stroked Bert's hair. "What happened?" He asked him, allowing his friend to cry and snot all over his new T-shirt

"Jeph.... I said....-hic- and you were right. He doesn't he....he has Dan and he doesn't, but I do, but Dan will kill me if he knows and-or he'll laugh at me. He won't even see me as a threat, just as some stupid kid wanting someone he can't have and fucking everyone around him so he can pretend it's him..." Bert was all-out sobbing now and Gerard couldn't actually understand the fragmented sentences emanating from his chest.  He smoothed the younger boy's hair gently, saying the first thing that popped into his head.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it..." Gerard cooed, transferring his hands from Bert's to his back.
Bert pulled back and sniffed again. His sharp teeth made dents and rips in the tender skin of his lips.

"He didn't." Bert said emptily. "He didn't because he had no fucking clue. He never realizes how I –I-...." He grimaced bitterly and fixed his appearance. He tugged his shirt back straight, ignoring Gerard. He wiped his eyes and turning to the door, he grasped the handle and with the appearance of an old soldier being sent back to war, he turned the knob.
Exiting the stall, they found Jeph walking in the bathroom door. His eyes narrowed at them both and he asked "What are you guys doing?"
"Nothing." Gerard said quickly, too quickly to be reasonable.  Looking confused, Jeph just stared at them both. Gerard felt like a hare cornered by a fox. He tugged at his shirt anxiously. Bert was looking at him pleadingly with big eyes, and Gerard shrugged helplessly.
"Dude, what happened to  your mouth-...Oh." Jeph said shortly, looking at Bert's flushed face and swollen lips. Gerard was fixing his clothes. Jeph turned back to the mirror with a brisk; "Sorry to interrupt."
He barely looked at the reflection, just glancing at then leaving for the door again. "Sorry again." He bit out and left the bathroom.