The Used Yaoi Fanfiction
The bushes outside a small, nondescript house were damp. "Wet and cold and there's things in here th-"
"Shut up Dan!" Gerard hissed. "He'll hear you!"
Huddled in the damp bushes were Jeph, Dan, Frank and Gerard. Dan was Not Happy. He disliked the damp dampness that is fairly descriptive of all hedges.
"Shh! He's coming out!" Jeph whispered, staring at Quinn as he came out from the bathroom wearing nothing but a white towel and dripping hair. Four heads all turned sideways and ogled shamelessly. "Fit," Frank said approvingly.

"Agreed," Said Jeph before getting a head slap from Dan. Gerard rolled his eyes and sighed. "You're all ridiculous. Bert's. Remember? S'why we're here."
"Yeah but surely... We should test him out for Bert. You know...make sure he's good and stuff," Frank offered, licking his lip.
Gerard merely growled in response.
Inside, Quinn was blow drying his hair and picking through his wardrobe. Pulling out jeans and a t-shirt, he turned to the window to close the curtains and blinked in shock.
In the bushes, there was a very visible dark head of hair. Pulling on his clothes speedily, Quinn dashed outside and stood over the bushes, staring into the thick leaves,   
Frowning, he thought maybe he had been mistaken, and maybe it was the next door's cat. Nodding to himself, he turned.
In the bushes Gerard had a hand clamped over his mouth and nose, with wide eyes.
Jeph and Frank were gripping his shoulders and telling him if he sneezed, they would kick him so hard in the spine.
Shaking his head furiously, Gerard hissed to them he couldn't hold it in, he would sneeze and Quinn would find them and think Bert was a freak. Slowly, the burning itch in his nose subsided and Gerard took a shaky, cautious breath. Quinn was still frowning and peering into the bushes, maybe a foot left of where they actually were hidden.  When he didn't sneeze, they all breathed a  quiet sigh of relief and gripped each other, unbelieving of their luck when Quinn turned away.

Then Dan coughed.
His eyes widened, realising what he had done. Quinn whirled round and kicked the bush violently. "Gerard! Is that you?!"
Biting their lips, they all shuffled out of the bushes and stood in front of a disapproving Quinn.
"H-hey Quinn," Gerard said cheerfully.
Quinn blinked at him. "What....the fuck man?"
Frank gave Quinn his best 'I'm small and adorable please don't kill me' smile. Quinn looked unamused. Frank upped the ante with a hopeful "No hablo inglés?"
"Spying on me," Quinn finished.
Dan  nodded, and flung an arm around Quinn's shoulders, "See it's like this, Bert really likes you, and you like him-no, no, no don't interrupt, I'm speaking, and as Bert's best friends, it's our job to make sure you get with him. Right Quinn?" Dan smiled charmingly.
"Who are you?" Quinn managed. Dan frowned. "Dan. Muscles. Whichever."
Quinn stood and there was an awkward silence as Gerard debated coming clean with Quinn, as they were evidently awful stalkers.
"Alright," he sighed, leading Quinn into his own house. "Make yourself at home." Quinn said sarcastically.
"I will, thank you." Gerard nodded. Quinn gritted his teeth.
  "Well, listen. The thing is, all teens explore their sexuality. Right?" Gerard coaxed him.
Quinn gave a shaky nod. "Yeah. Sure they do."
"Good. So, would you like to experiment with Bert?"
Quinn stared at Gerard. "No."
"You do. You hesitated."
"Oh, for the love of-" Frank snapped and pounced on Quinn, attaching his lips to Quinn's immediately. Gerard, Jeph and Dan looked on in morbid fascination and disbelief.
"FRANK." Gerard screamed. Disengaging himself from Quinn, Frank stood back up and dusted himself off. "What?"
"'t just...MOLEST...him!" Gerard insisted.
Frank sighed and turned to a rather shell shocked Quinn. "You liked it. No, stop arguing that wasn't Jeph's tongue I felt in my mouth. You did. Just accept it. Everyone but you knows you like boys. It will not be a shock or revelation to anyone so you can admit it, because it's ok. Ok?"
Quinn swallowed, an audible click coming from his dry throat. "Ok," he croaked.

Gerard blinked in shock. "Why didn't you do that ages ago?!" He demanded.
Frank shrugged.

"-Ok, so all you have to do is just relax. Ok? We'll do the rest." Gerard rubbed Bert's hair comfortingly. "Ok..." Bert said uncertainly, spinning on Gerard's computer chair. Jeph stopped him, and pinned his hair back with a hair band. "Stay still," Jeph warned him,  and slathered his face in a thick white face mask. Bert blinked and closed his eyes.
"Right, hair." Gerard said to himself, reaching for a clear bottle of hair dye.
Bert cracked an eye. "What are you doing to me?"
"I'm going to dye it an all-over black, redo your red roots at the back, and then style it."

Smoothing Bert's hair back and dripping the dye all over and rubbing it into Bert's hair. Massaging his scalp, Gerard conversed quietly with Jeph.
The door cracked open and Frank tip toed into the room.
"GET OUT." Gerard snapped. Frank frowned. "What did I do?"
" dunno, but get out anyway!" Gerard shouted. Jeph pushed him away from Bert. "Go talk, I got Bert," Jeph whispered.
Stripping off the clear plastic gloves, Gerard stepped away from the noxious fumes emanating from Bert's hair.
"Come on then," Gerard snapped, leading Frank into the next room, his art studio.
Inside, Gerard closed the door and sat on his desk, ignoring the blue splodge of paint he had sat on with dignity.
"What's your problem?" Frank asked, sitting on Gerard's favourite chair.
"You kissed him! You weren't supposed to do that," Gerard hissed.
"Why? Did it or did it not help Quinn admit it?" Frank reasoned. Gerard scowled.
"That's not the point," Gerard flailed.

"What is the point then?!" Frank asked, snapping.
"You kissed him! You don't that! You're supposed to be the one who follows Bert and I around and likes me! Not skinny pretty boys with blonde hair and tattoos!"
Gerard ranted, trailing off at the end, starting to realise what a jackass he sounded like.
"Let me get this straight then, you don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me?! ...That's fucked up! And selfish."
Gerard bit his lip, a nervous habit he had picked up from Bert. "I don't like you," Gerard said stoically.
Frank's mouth worked in shock for a second before he regained his composure. "Are you doing that thing you do where you say the opposite of what you really mean?"
"No." Gerard said in fear.
"Yes you are," Frank said, standing and approaching Gerard smoothly, examining his expression.
"No!" Gerard stressed.
"You like me," Frank stated, not asking.
"No I don't!" Gerard strained.
Frank grinned and tangled his fingers in the back of Gerard's hair. "Yeah, you totally do."
Frank didn't wait for an answer, and instead secured his lips to Gerard's mouth.
It took a few minutes, but eventually Gerard's brain kicked in and he shoved Frank off.
"What the fuck man?"
"Whatever Gerard, when you're ready to admit it you can come tell me." Frank snapped and left.
Gerard swallowed and swore to himself that no, he didn't like the sweet coffee/cigarettes taste of Frank.
"Oh dear God in heaven , why would you do this to me? Why?" Bert wailed, covering his eyes and hiding from his own reflection. "It's really not that bad," Jeph offered.

Bert hissed viciously, "I'm ginger. This is why I dye my hair, I don't want to be ginger!"
Somehow the black dye and the red dye had reacted to each other and managed to turn Bert's hair a dark gingery colour.
"It's not ginger. It's...strawberry blonde." Jeph reassured. Bert nodded.
"Yes, but your make up is nice," Gerard comforted him.  
"It is, isn't it?" Bert sniffled. Jeph nodded furiously.
"Umm, I hate to break up the party but we're late for work." Gerard said.
"Right." Bert lifted his chin in a determined manner. "Let's go."
"And I'm sure Quinn loves gingers." Jeph added, in an attempt to bolster Bert. Bert turned to him with horrified look on his face. Stumbling back into his bathroom he locked the door and hissed "I'm not ginger, I'm strawberry blonde."